Being Mormon

I lost my muchness, but I’m back with a vengeance.

Kaylynn Rasmussen – Confessions of a Serial Hugger

Hello, 2018! I’m finally ready for you. Are you ready for me?

Today is no different from any other day except that today I finally feel like writing.

When I logged in here to see when my last post was, I was shocked to see that it was…one, two, three, four, five…FIVE MONTHS AGO!

Apologies.

Apologies to myself (and to you). If I want to call myself a writer, I must show up and do the work. I’ve not posted because my writings not been ‘worthy’ of a post but that’s just the excuse I’ve been feeding myself.

The truth is I lost my muchness. Sometimes that happens to me…

depression

dɪˈprɛʃ(ə)n/

noun 

feelings of severe despondency and dejection. “Self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression”.

That dreaded word that I hate using to describe myself. But just like Alice, I got through my darkness and my muchness has returned…thank goodness! Phew!

So my secret is out. Sometimes I get sad and my muchness drains out of me but what I’ve learned as I get older is we all have our moments of unwellness and don’t let it define who you really are.

So I ride the dark wave as best as I can. I try my best to do all the “healthy” things and I stop looking at Facebook. I trim my life down to the basic necessities and cut out all the extras (like feeling the need to keep up with my blog), until one day I wake up and I feel like me again. I want to shout from the rooftops…

“I’M BACK BABY!”

So this is just a short post to say Thank you.

Thank you for still following me.

Thank you for your patience and thank you for not giving up on me. The last half of 2017 kicked my butt a little but it didn’t defeat me.

♥, Kaylynn

 

 

 

Published by Kaylynn Rasmussen – Confessions of a Serial Hugger

I grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah as a 5th generation Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am a Mormon, but I was not always the proud happy Mormon I am today. Life sucker-punched me as a teen and I stopped listening to what was inside my heart. I am an American living in Melbourne Australia with my agnostic husband and two kiddos. This blog has been my recorded journey of finding my muchness again in hopes to help others in finding their own muchness. The muchness I am talking about is our gifts from God. We were all born with incredible treasures unique to only us. Our Father in Heaven loves us and misses us all every day—exactly how a parent misses their own child. You are a child of God. You are important. You make a difference in this unbalanced world we live in. Your life matters. After all, as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

13 thoughts on “I lost my muchness, but I’m back with a vengeance.”

  4. Almost all of us women have been there at different times. It’s the worst! We can empathize completely. Mine was postpartum and then turned out to be more chemical as the years went on. It was also a touch of SAD. After menopause, it got much better and now, as I’m older, it is simply a great contentment. Through the years I have tried to find simple ways to combat it. The best way is to get into a different situation temporarily…take a walk, visit a friend or shut-in, do service, and force a smile…surprising what that can do. Love you and I remember the cute bubbly girl that used to come to my house.

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  8. Welcome back Kaylynn! It’s always a pleasure and so insightful to read your blog. We are all here waiting for you, whenever the time is right and you are ready. 💖. P.s So glad to get to hang out with you at canteen again!

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  11. It’s somehow comforting to know that other people who I think are so strong go to that dark place called depression. The thing I hate about it is that when It consumes me I can’t see others pain and needs. Thanks for sharing Kaylynn. So glad you’ve got your muchness back. Love you. 😘😘

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  12. Pingback: So what is your happiness? - The Melbourne Mormon

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